The iron that sharpens iron

"In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple to the Lord..."  Ephesians 2:21

Today, I finally made the trip to go get storage containers so that I could start packing away everything I wouldn't need for the next 6 months...  Admittedly, moving my things back home on top of getting ready for Switzerland is not a task that tops my "favorites" list, so I did this a little grudgingly.  I thought that I could at least pack my books tonight (most of them are still on the floor), but as I was doing so, I ran across a journal that my best friend gave me a while back.  This wasn't just any journal, however; it was a Missions Journal, and I had put it away for "someday..." The significance of my find was not the journal in of itself, but it did remind me of something so much bigger.

At the time I had received this gift, I had no idea that I would soon be asked to step out in faith for my current journey...  If memory serves me correctly, I was actually quite frustrated at the time and was beginning to wonder whether or not this was a true calling from God or not.  From the time I gave my life to Christ, my heart had been drawn to international missions and my trips to Kenya had served to solidify that in ways that are indescribable.  After graduation, however, I started to think that maybe it would look a bit different than what I had thought... Maybe I would be in the States and just do short-term missions trips every once in a great while... But my soul wasn't satisfied in this.  I felt like God kept telling me "wait" and wasn't showing me "when."  So I started to doubt.  During this time, however, I feel that the Lord sent my best friend with a reminder... a small gift to show me that she believed with all of her heart that this purpose was already decided.  She confidently saw that calling and encouraged the waiting with a faith that seemed to take the place of mine at the time.  Now, looking back, this is more sobering than ever. 

As my training approaches faster and faster, I am forced to look back and reflect on how I arrived at this point... How God turned this fearful little girl into someone much more courageous and fearless.  This boldness did not come from myself but was affirmed by so many priceless people in my life... Friends who have spoken truth, friends who have fasted and prayed over me, friends who have painfully prodded me when my walk would become stagnant, children who have displayed unwavering faith even when nothing around them was certain or secure... This is the Body, and it is precious.  I am quickly learning the value of the Bride of Christ and the truth that no individual can fulfill the Lord's calling inside of a bubble.  Yes, we hurt each other in unimaginable ways, but the truth is that we really do need each other as well.  I am overwhelmed with gratitude as I look back on those who have impacted my life so greatly without even being aware of it.  Most would not even remember the conversations or the actions that marked me so completely, and even if they did, I doubt that they would take credit for any of it.  But I remember... 

Friends - I remember you.  Thank you for letting God use you, for lifting me up when I fall, for accepting me and loving me unconditionally, and for fulfilling the ministry that God has given you.  I love you, and I am in awe of the way God has used you in my life.  You are incredible!

Looking Forward

29 days from now I will be embarking on a brand new journey... Bound for so many unknowns in a place where I have never been before.  I am overwhelmed with excitement, but as I start to put last touches on preparation,  everything is becoming much more real. 

Today, I received my Voluntary Separation Notification from work - Basically, I signed the papers that officially declare my resignation... And I am getting ready to send a substantial check over to Switzerland.  A check that I can't get back.  As these things came in, I started praying.  "Lord, am I ready for this?"  In about two seconds flat, the Lord reminded me of the verse in Luke 9 where he says, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."  Wow.  If that's not firm confirmation, I'm not sure what is.  See, the more I walk with Jesus, the more that I find it is a process of boldly cutting off what is behind and running toward what is ahead.  Not out of logic, but out of resolute faith.

When Elisha was given the call to take Elijah's place as the prophet of Israel, he was plowing a field.  In a declaration of absolute surrender to the calling, he burned his plowing equipment and sacrificed the oxen he was plowing with.  He not only decided to follow Elijah, but he also made it impossible to go back.  His livelihood was gone, and it was gone out of choice.  Paul also talks about this in Philippians saying, "Forgetting what is behind, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

As God continues to prepare my heart for the next leg of the race, His voice continually tells me just to keep on walking.  So I will.  I will boldly put one step in front of the other, taking no thought to what I am leaving or what could happen because of it.  I am His, and I trust His path even when I cannot see exactly what that looks like.  Jesus - I am Yours.  Mold me, and make me, and let me fall even deeper in love with You.  The Cross before me, the world behind me.  No turning back.